Brian Scalaguido Agrees to Spray Tan

"NBA All-Star Weekend is two weeks away but the hearts and minds of Boston Celtics fans will not be in Dallas but rather on a major event happen the week after.

Afte All-Star weekend Celtics forward Brian Scalabrine will be making good on a bet by getting a spray tan.

The tan came about as part of Scalabrine’s weekly Wednesday appearance on the “Toucher and Rich” morning show on 98.5 The Sports Hub.  They wagered that if they could get Scalabrine 250,000 votes then he would agree to get a spray-on tan.

With the bet agreed upon, Toucher and Rich launched the “get that man a tan” campaign.  There were issues in the voting process as it was discovered that the write in votes may not be getting counted.  The show investigated but was never pleased with the outcome.

Last Thursday, January 21 when the All-Star votes were announced, The “King of Sports” personally wrote a letter to the “Toucher and Rich Show” apologizing for the issues with voting and announced that the grand total was 250,008 votes.

Upon hearing the results, Scalabrine agreed to officially get his tan.  After looking at the upcoming schedule, they agreed that he would be getting procedure on February 24, the day before a nationally televised Celtics/Cavilers game on TNT.

When he asked how dark the tan had to be third chair Crash Clark joked, “we’re talking Robert Downey in ‘Tropic Thunder.”

“Yea.  I guess if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it once, do it right, do it big.” 

So here we have it guid's and guidettes, Boston's own Brian Scalabrine will be intimidating the shit out of the Cavaliers players and fans with a custom spray tan on February 24th. Scal is already ranked among the NBA's elite of ghostly intimidating figures, and with this slight pigment alteration, he clearly steals the #1 spot of most intimidatingly un-intimidating whiteys.  If you think about it, the NBA is lacking italian americans or "Guidos" per say, so this could result in an addition of an entirely new target audience, including the whole cast of the Jersey Shore.  Like always, Scal doing the "intangibles" to keep the fans happy. Exactly why he get's paid the big bucks ($3.5 milli).