Treatment for Tiger Woods’ Injury Includes a Massage, Hmmmm…

Tiger Woods said tests Wednesday showed an inflamed neck joint that causes pain and makes it hard to turn his head, an injury that will require little more than medicine, massages and rest.

Woods had an MRI that revealed inflammation in a facet joint of his neck. He withdrew from the final round of The Players Championship on Sunday after a week in which he was seen stretching and rolling his neck.

Woods said treatment will include physical therapy, such as soft-tissue massage, rest and anti-inflammatory medicine. He said the prognosis was for a full recovery, and while the layoff is not expected to be long, rehab can vary.

So, let me get this straight. The treatment for Tiger’s latest injury includes a pair of soft hands caressing his bulging dick – er, disc. This can only end well, right?

Tiger Woods misses cut at Quail Hollows

Tiger Woods missed the cut today at Quail Hollows. Today Tiger Woods shot a career worst 79-+7 during the second round. To put this in perspective Tiger has never shot that bad at a PGA event. His worst round ever was in Europe with an 81 during the third round of the 2002 British Open. On another note this is what he accomplished, errrr...

Worst 36-hole total of professional career (153)

2nd-worst 18 hole score of professional career (79)

Ties worst 9-hole score of entire career (43 on back 9 today)

Hit 6 fairways over first 2 rounds, worst of his professional career

1st missed cut in non-major since 2005

Back-to-back double-bogeys (or worse) for 3rd time in entire career (14th and 15th holes today)

So basically after trying to prove to the world that he still had his stroke at the Masters, Tiger came up lame in this event. After seeing the sex scandal unfold we've now realized Tiger Woods is human, but let's hope this isn't what's in his future on the golf course, because that's one place where I don't want to see him become human.

3 Things That Baffled Me Last Week

I’m going to start doing a weekly thing every Monday/Tuesday where I focus on 3 things that blew my mind from the previous week. We’ll see how long I actually keep up with it, but here is the first installment.

1. Ben Roethlisberger Gets Off Again – How many girls does he have to rape before he gets locked up? Four? Five? The Georgia District Attorney officially announced today that no criminal charges would be brought against Roethlisberger. So he’s now 2 for 2 in avoiding sexual abuse charges. It’s crazy that he continuously gets away with this disgusting behavior with no repercussions. Hopefully, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will suspend Roethlisberger, despite the lack of a conviction. I wonder how much money Big Ben had to throw at this problem to make it go away. He definitely had to pay off the girl, and probably the club owner and some investigators as well. He must be down millions and millions of dollars trying to keep people quiet about his “incidents.” Who says money can’t solve problems?

2. Billy Payne, (Augusta National Golf Club chairman) – Before the Masters began, Payne dropped this bomb on Tiger Woods: "It is not simply the degree of his conduct that is so egregious here; it is the fact that he disappointed all of us, and more importantly, our kids and our grand kids. Our hero did not live up to the expectations of the role model we saw for our children.” Sure, Tiger Woods deserves criticism. A lot of criticism. But is Billy Payne really the right person to be doing it? After all, this is the chairman of Augusta National, which doesn’t allow female members, calling out Tiger for disrespecting women. Pretty hypocritical, no? (I swear I had the idea for this post days ago, but Bill Simmons wrote something similar today, so I’m mentioning his name so I don’t get accused of ripping him off).

3. Tim Povtak (NBA FanHouse writer) on LeBron James – I was browsing around today, and came across an article by Tim Povtak entitled LeBron James Owes Fans a Refund. Throughout the article, he criticizes LeBron for sitting out a few games because the Cavaliers already have the best record in the NBA locked up. Povtak says he owes it to the fans to be out there every night if physically able. He goes on to say that LeBron has lost his vote for MVP because of it. Now, I don’t know who Tim Povtak is, or if he really does have an MVP vote, but it’s pretty clear that he’s an absolute clown. As I’ve said multiple times on F2DD, I am a LeBron hater, but this is just ridiculous. As much as I dislike LeBron, he is the clear cut MVP (with respect to Kevin Durant and Dwight Howard), and just because he chose to sit out a few games to rest up for the playoffs shouldn’t change that. I’m pretty sure every Cavs fan out there is all for LeBron sitting out, if he thinks it is going to give them a better chance of winning a championship. No one in Cleveland is complaining about LeBron missing a few meaningless games, I can assure you that.

Sir Charles Is Racist...At His Finest

Barkley Rips Masters Head -- He's an 'Uncle Tom'

Posted Apr 9th 2010 3:01PM by TMZ Staff

Charles Barkley has resorted to racial insults in his attack on the guy who runs the Masters -- comparing Billy Payne to a slave-driving plantation owner after Payne ripped Tiger Woods over the scandal.

Barkley -- who used to be pretty tight with Woods -- went on Fox Sports Radio yesterday and said, "You got this punk ass Billy Payne who goes on TV ... for him to get on there and act like he's all Uncle Tom, he's the master on the plantation, that piss me off."

Barkley added, "I wish somebody would just walk up to him and punch him in his face."

Earlier this week, Payne mentioned Tiger in his news conference saying, "Our hero did not live up to the expectations of the role model we saw for our children."

 

This is why I love Charles Barkley.  No filter.  He speaks what's on his mind, whatever the fuck it may be.  Although he is clueless on half the shit he speaks on, it makes for great entertainment.  Chuck and Tiger have had a very relaxed relationship over the years impersonating each other on various occasions and this is just another instance of Sir Charles sticking up for his boy Eldrick.  At the end of the day we all know Chuck still loves Tiger, regardless of how many bitches he slays, and hates all powerful white men.  


O yeah, he doesn't just love rich white dudes, but women as well. 

"I'd never buy my girl a watch... she's already got a clock over the stove." 

Tiger Tees Off at the Masters

Very warm reception for Tiger at Augusta, as he drilled his first tee shot right down the center of the fairway. It was all positive on the ground -- not a single audible boo -- but the sky was a different story.

It Wasn't Tiger (It Wasn't Me Shaggy Rap Parody)

The day the world has been anticipating since Tiger's antics back in November is finally here. Tiger Woods will be competing back on the green today for the first time in 144 days. Once tiger addressed the media publicly on Tuesday, we hope that some of the weight was lifted off his shoulders and he can go back to focusing on golf. I'm just hoping he can connect with the little Nike ball as hard as Elin connected with his face back on Thanksgiving evening. God speed El Tigre, God speed.

If you for some reason want to download this piece of shit song, you can do so here..."It Wasn't Tiger"

P.S. Tiger Tee's off today at 1:42 EST

P.P.S. What's El Tigre goin' for with the Goatee look? You think Elin likes to feel a little scruff scruff down there?

New Nike Ad Featuring Tiger Woods

This new Nike ad aired for the first time tonight on ESPN and the Golf Channel, just a day before Tiger makes his much anticipated return at the Masters. Nike was one of the few sponsors who actually stuck with Tiger throughout all of his troubles. The man speaking in the background while Tiger stares at the camera is Earl Woods, Tiger's father. Very interesting commercial. What do you think?

Andy Milonakis' Tiger Woods Rap

Did the question of Andy Milonakis' age ever answered? Cause he looks younger than he did in the Andy Milonakis Show.

Tiger Woods Interview with Tom Rinaldi (3/21/10)

Tiger Tiger Woods y'all. In case you missed el Tigre's first interview since the world found out he was addicted to banging white women, here it is.

Tiger Woods set to return at Bay Hill

More signs are pointing to Tiger Woods' return to golf in two weeks, at the Arnold PalmerInvitational at Bay Hill in Orlando, according to a report in the New York Post.

Two golf sources said former presidential press secretary Ari Fleischer, who helped craft Mark McGwire's return to baseball from his self-imposed exile following allegations of steroid use, has been working with Woods to chart a course for Woods' return to professional golf, the newspaper reported. Woods has been on an indefinite leave from the game following admissions of marital infidelity late last year.

"[Woods and Fleischer] were in his living room this week going over a strategy for how to handle Bay Hill in two weeks," one source said, according to the report.

A second source said, "I would be shocked if he didn't."

So there you have it. Tiger Woods is set to return at the Bay Hill Invitational. Just like we said a few weeks ago, Tiger will return before the Masters in a controlled environment. No better place to that, then Bay Hill, a tournament sponsored by another PGA Tour legend Arnold Palmer.

It will be interested to see how fans react to Tiger at this event. I think it won't be as bad as some people expect it to be. The bottom line is, everyone wants to see Tiger get back on the course and dominate like he always does. Should be exciting. Can't wait.

Go get em' Tiger.

Steve Williams trying to bring the heat!

Tiger Woods' caddie claims he's "mad" at his boss -- and wants everyone to know that he didn't have a damn thing to do with Tiger's cheating ways.

Steve Williams -- Tiger's caddie for 11years -- told New Zealand's "60 Minutes" that the scandal has "been the most difficult time of my life, no two ways about it, because every single person believed that I should know or did know or had something to do with it."

Williams added, "I knew nothing, that's my answer. I don't have to clarify or extend that answer, I knew nothing." In fact, Williams claims he would have blown the whistle had he known what Tiger was up to.

Williams told the show that he's still furious with Tiger, saying "Of course I'm mad at him, why would you not be? I'm close with his wife and he's got two lovely children."

The caddie claims he's not turning his back on Tiger, adding "When you're a true friend of somebody, that's when somebody needs your support and need you the most. That's when you don't walk away. Tiger's one of my closest friends and he needs my support right now and I'd never think of walking away."


Ok, so let me try to understand this. Steve Williams is mad at Tiger Woods. Steve Williams is mad at Tiger Woods. Well, guess what Steve get in line. Everyone is mad at Tiger Woods for his infidelities.

And I know what your up too. Your claiming to be mad at Tiger for the cheating scandal. You're trying to paint this image in everyone's mind that you didn't know Tiger was boozing and fucking before tournaments. Unfortunately we see right through you. The only reason you are mad is because he's not playing because when Tiger doesn't play you don't get paid.

How the fuck can you be mad at Tiger? It makes no sense. You carry his fucking clubs a few times a year and rake in the dough. A matter of fact, I bet you'd be like 10th on the money list for earnings in a year. You stand around and wash Tiger Woods balls and get paid.

Give me a break Steve, shut up. We all know you were right there with Tiger get hammered and banging broads. You were right there with him just like Dj Pauly D was with The Situation.

One more thing Steve, grow a pair of balls. You go on 60 minutes in New Zealand and talk about this? What are you a pussy. If your really mad at Tiger why don't you come to the USA and vent your frustration.

Check out the video right here: http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/04/tiger-woods-caddie-steve-williams-pissed-mad-upset-60-minutes/

Jack Nicklaus: Tell me something I don't know.

Jack Nicklaus was interviewied by ESPN today and had the following comments on when Tiger Woods would appear in his first PGA golf event since the sex parade scandal broke out.

“I suspect he'll play something before Augusta. Your guess is as good as mine. I would be very surprised if he didn't play something before Augusta.

Before I comment on Jack I just want to say one thing. I completely agree. Tiger will be back at or before the Masters.

I just want to say one thing. The coordinators of the Masters do not want Tiger to show. The Masters is the last great sporting event that focuses on the actual venue. Everyone cares about Augusta. There is never a circus at Augusta. The players appreciate the course and make the tournament about the course. It's all about the green jacket and who wins it. That's why people watch. The tournament directors know this. They want to continue this tradition. If Tiger decides to return they realize it will ruin the tradition. The tournament will become about Tiger and not the "Masters." However, if he wants to come back they can't tell him now because he'll pull ratings.

As much as that sucks for them. It's going to happen. Tiger will be back for the Masters. He'll be back. He's not going to miss a major. He needs to play as many majors so he can catch Jack. Regardless of what the directors say Tiger is the sport. Not the masters. Not Augusta.

Anyway, on to Jack's comments.

Why does Jack need to even mention this. The whole fucking world knows Tiger will be at the Masters. Everyone knows he'll play one or two events before for a warm up. He's not an idiot. He's going to play an event or two to get ready and quite honestly there's a chance he wins one of those events plus the Masters. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he won every event he entered this year just so he could say fuck you to all his doubters. He's simply the best and that's what the best does.

Quick thought: If Tiger comes back what do you think the odds will be that he wins the Masters? I bet he'll be the odds on favorite.

Exactly. Enough said. He's the best and will continue to be the best.

No matter where he fucking plays and who he decides to fuck.

"Gatorade: Is He in You?"

"A rep for Gatorade told CNBC, "I can confirm that we no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing efforts and have ended our relationship."

The rep added, "However, our partnership with the Tiger Woods Foundation will continue. We wish Tiger all the best."

Gatorade is the third company to give Tiger the boot in the wake of his sex scandal -- Woods was already dropped by Gillette and Accenture."

Gatorade gives the ol' Tigre the boot.  The thing about this that doesn't make sense is the fact that Gatorade waited 3 months to cut the ties with their largest celebrity endorser.  They held strong through the beef of the scandal, but once Tiger comes clean to the public, they drop him?  Doesn't add up.  We all know Tiger is going to relapse in a few short months, and sweep the majors with a breeze.  Sure he might be struggling keeping his D out of fresh P while on tour, but who really cares if he hits a few broads every here and there.  Elin is Jonesing for Tigers 3 iron just as bad as Tiger is jonesing for Elin's cup, so I'm sure they'll find a way to make it work and Gatorade will be kicking their own ass for letting go of the World's greatest athlete.  As the great lyricist Big Boi once said,

"Know what I'm talking about, jealousy, infidelity, envy

Cheating, beating, and to the G's they be the same thing

So who you placing the blame on, you keep on singing the same song

Let bygones be bygones, you can go on and get the hell on"

Tiger Tiger Woods Ya'll LIVE Public Statement!

Watch Tiger Woods Press Conference Live

Ernie Els (Mistakenly) Calls Tiger Selfish

The timing of Tiger Woods' first appearance since his car accident and subsequent admission of marital infidelity -- on Friday in Florida, while the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship is in full swing in Arizona -- does not impress one of the game's best-known players.

"It's selfish," former U.S. Open and British Open champion Ernie Els told Golfweek magazine. "You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament."

Listen, Ernie. You shouldn’t be calling Tiger Woods selfish (unless you’re referring to his desire to bang every skank, porn star, and cocktail waitress under the sun, despite already being married to a beautiful blonde bombshell. That is selfish). However, his holding a press conference during a PGA tournament is not. Tiger Woods is golf. He is the only reason why people watch, the only reason why people care.

People are not tuning in to watch you, Ernie Els. If it wasn’t for Tiger, no one would even know who you are. Do you realize, Ernie, that you complaining about Tiger taking attention away from yourself is like Hank Baskett whining about how Kendra is stealing his thunder? I mean, do you think anyone would know who Hank Baskett was if wasn’t for Kendra? Because of her, even my girlfriend knows who Hank Baskett is for Christ’s sake. Kendra made Hank a household name, and Tiger is doing the same for you. You should thank him, not criticize him.

Tiger has not taken the spotlight off of the Match Play Championship. He has put the spotlight on it. Did you really think people were going to tune in and watch otherwise? Absolutely not. Maybe now, you’ll have a few more fans watching. I call this decision by Tiger selfless, not selfish.

[Ps: For those of you who can’t wait to tune into Tiger’s press conference tomorrow, I’ll give you the rundown of what’s going to be said. He’s going to apologize to his family, fans, sponsors, and the PGA for his “transgressions.” He’ll probably use the word infidelity a few times. He’s going to say that he’s getting help and trying to fix his life. He will make it clear that it is a private matter between him and his family, and he will politely ask everyone to stay out of his business (but we won’t listen). Then he will say that he is returning to the game of golf, probably for a tournament or two right before the Masters. He will finish up by not taking questions. If Tiger says anything unexpected or fundamentally different from what I just outlined above, I will comment on it tomorrow. However, I am not expecting to have to do that.]