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Sunday, March 7, 2010

7 kids, but only 6 mothers


RADAR ONLINE-- Antonio Cromartie has seven kids by six women in five states, and a partridge in a pear tree. The Jets fronted him some cash to clear up his paternity suits before he reports to camp. Ladies and gentlemen, the NFL!
Where did that $12 million rookie contract go? Possibly for fertility treatments, because there are an awful lot of little Cromarties running around. Those little Cromarties need to be fed and clothed, and that ain't cheap. With a court date coming up this month, and more pending, he needs some money, and he needs it fast.
Those are my kids, and they're my responsibility," Cromartie said during a conference call with beat reporters. "I made some wrong decisions in my first two years (in the NFL), and I have to take on that responsibility."
"We realize that for Antonio to be available, someone of his talent, at his age (25), at his position, there were some circumstances that may have happened," said Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum, adding the organization did a thorough background investigation on Cromartie. "When we made the decision we felt the risk was reasonable given the price we had to pay. We're going to work with Antonio collaboratively to make sure we do everything organizationally to make sure he has the best opportunity to be successful."
Working with him collaboratively apparently means restructuring his $1.7 million contract to give him $500,000 now, as a bonus. Otherwise he wouldn't get paid until the start of the regular season, and who knows what paternity court he'd be in by then?
Too bad Travis Henry's probably retired. An uncapped year is the only time he could get enough to take care of his own baby issues.
You see there was just no way I wasn't going to find this article on Antonio Cromartie. You know why? Because I hate hate hate the fucking Jets. Can't stand them. I hate Rex Ryan. I hate Mark Sanchez. I hated Bill Belichick, until he fucked them. I hate Bill Parcells. I hate Joe Namath. Everything about them I hate.

So whenever I find something like this out, I love it. It's just outstanding.

The Jets traded for Antonio Cromartie, and in turn they took a chance on a player who has 15 career interceptions in his first 3 years. Ten of those picks came his rookie year. So, you can do the math. Yep, 5 over the last 2. So Rex Ryan, obviously thinks he can get Cromartie back to how he was his rookie year. The thing Ryan forgot, Cromartie has 7 kids. Yes, 7 fucking kids.


The best part about this, the Jets traded for him hoping he'd be a stud and in turn had to restructure his contract so he could get $500,000 real quick to get the 6 mothers -- yes I said that 6 mothers and 7 kids. (Who wants to take bets he has a set of twins?) off his back.

So Jet Nation, Rex Ryan I just want to say one thing. Good luck with Cromartie. I'm glad he's on your team and not mine. I'm glad you think him and Revis will allow you to blitz everyone else. We all know that's your pipe dream.
Just ask Travis Henry what happens when you have a great rookie year and decide to bang anything with two legs. Those ladies end up fucking you harder than you fucked them (no pun intended).

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