Daily Douche: John Cena

First off, I was going to assume John Cena was a Celtics fan until I hit up my friend Mr. Google.  For some reason my eye caught a glimpse as Cena during the Celt's/Magic game tonight, sitting next to some slam pig a few rows back.  Regardless, I did some research and found out Cena is not only a Celtics fan, but also a Magic and Lakers fan.  Reward: Instant delegation to Daily Douche.  

Second off, is John Cena really that huge or is that mini-me usher standing/sitting in the isle really that small?

Daily Douche: Who else?... the French

PARIS -- Charlie Davies is blaming Sochaux for his failure to make the United States' preliminary squad for the World Cup, saying he feels "let down" by his French club.

The striker claims Sochaux president Alexandre Lacombe wrote to the U.S. coaching staff without his knowledge, saying that Davies was not fit enough to play at the World Cup and that the club would not medically clear him.

Davies, who was nearly killed in a car accident last October, told French radio station RMC late Wednesday that he was capable of playing in the tournament in South Africa and felt "very hurt, very sad" and "very angry."

The 23-year-old Davies, who was omitted from the 30-man U.S. preliminary squad for the World Cup, said he was stunned when he learned about the letter after speaking with U.S. coach Bob Bradley.

"I'm very angry because I feel FC Sochaux has denied me a chance at playing in the World Cup," Davies said. "Of course I'm not at 100 percent now but I feel that by the time our World Cup camp starts next week I would be at a level where I can compete for one of the forward spots."

Fuck the French. Stupid Frogs. They just ruined one of the better comeback stories in recent memory. Charlie Davies almost died in that car crash last October. Doctors thought his career was over, and he might have trouble walking for the rest of his life. Yet, he was miraculously back on the field training 6 months later, on track for a potential spot on the U.S. World Cup roster, which was a lock before the crash.

Then, like is so often the case, the French screwed everything up. The douche bag president of Davies club team goes behind Charlie’s back, saying he won’t be ready for the World Cup. What an asshole move. At least give Davies the chance to make the U.S. national squad. Let Bob Bradley make the final decision of whether he’s match fit or not. If Bradley came to the conclusion that Davies couldn’t help the U.S. team, so be it. I could respect that decision. But it’s not fair that the French ended his World Cup bid prematurely. Davies, if even 75% healthy, could have been an asset to the U.S. It’s a shame that some douche bag Frenchman took away that possibility.

Daily Douche: Adam Lambert

Wow. You're kidding me. First the American Music Award performance, now this. Adam, chill out. We all know your gay, no need to continually try to prove it.

Daily Douche: TV Smasher On The Juice

 

Man Walks Into Wal-Mart, Smashes 29 TVs With Bat  

"Ga. Police Say Man Walked Into Wal-Mart, Grabbed Baseball Bat And Smashed 29 Flat-screen TVs

(AP) LILBURN, Ga. (AP) - Police in Georgia say a 23-year-old man grabbed a baseball bat inside of a Walmart and smashed 29 flat-screen televisions. Police in Lilburn near Atlanta have charged Westley Strellis with 29 counts of criminal damage to property in the second degree. Witnesses tell police he grabbed a metal baseball bat from the sporting goods section Wednesday, walked to the electronics department and destroyed the TVs on display.  He was arrested not long after that.  Police say the televisions are valued at over $22,000. Police say they do not know whether Strellis has an attorney."

Leave it up to Hotlanta huh.  They're so hard down in the ATL that they don't even bother stealing TVs, they just  stroll in to the local Walmart, grab a metal bat and go hulk on a wall LCD's.  The best part of this is how this douche takes his time going down the line knocking each one out with one fell swoop.  Guarantee he had "in the air tonight" bumping in his iPod while he went down the line, but ran out of TV's to smash before he got to the excelled drummer verse.  The trials and tribulations of being a convict TV smasher.  Hope you have fun sacking up to those 29 accounts of criminal damage buddy.  Keep your tips up and I'm sure you're all for dropping the soap.