Let's go Celtics!

Game 3 starts in about an hour. Enjoy Senor Fresh's remix to Whatever We Like before the game and let's hope Kevin dominates the paint, Paul gets to the line, Ray pops threes, and Rondo triple dubs the Celtics to a 3-0 series lead.

Marquis Daniels’ Stepfather Tased During Game 2

The stepfather of Boston Celtics guard Marquis Daniels was arrested and subdued with a stun gun during Game 2 of the Eastern Conference finals against the Orlando Magic.

The Orlando police report shows 55-year-old Willie L. Buie was charged with resisting arrest with violence during Tuesday night's game. Celtics spokesman Jeff Twiss confirmed it was Daniels' stepfather.

Officers responded to a disturbance in a lower-level section during the second half. Police say they tried to escort Buie from his seat, but he refused, using expletives at officers and swinging his arms free. He eventually was escorted out near a security office but kept his hands under his body to avoid handcuffs. That's when police say an officer used a stun gun on Buie's back for about 5 seconds.

Marquis Daniels’ stepfather caused a little disturbance at the Celtics game the other night. Probably had a few too many beers. So what? At least Daniels’ stepfather wasn’t sleeping with Kevin Garnett’s wife or something like that, because that would pretty much be the equivalent of what’s going on in Cleveland with Delonte West and LeBron’s mom, right? And we all saw the good karma that was floating around the Cavaliers after that alleged incident. Yea, that karma presented itself in the form of a giant green leprechaun stomping on the collective manhood of the entire city of Cleveland. You think LeBron’s hanging around Cleveland with one of his teammates banging his mother? Ah, hell no.

In other news, who knew tasers would become such a fad at sporting events so quickly?

Breaking News: Al Qaeda Recruiting Vince Carter

I'm not sure what conclusions to draw from this other than Al Queda is in full force in Orlando, blatantly working to recruit some 'Vinsanity" onto their squad.  Although Vince is pretending to show some resistance, we all are now exposed to his off-season "hobbies".  A replacement for Bin Laden...any takers?

Daily Douche: John Cena

First off, I was going to assume John Cena was a Celtics fan until I hit up my friend Mr. Google.  For some reason my eye caught a glimpse as Cena during the Celt's/Magic game tonight, sitting next to some slam pig a few rows back.  Regardless, I did some research and found out Cena is not only a Celtics fan, but also a Magic and Lakers fan.  Reward: Instant delegation to Daily Douche.  

Second off, is John Cena really that huge or is that mini-me usher standing/sitting in the isle really that small?

Game 2 Preview: Where Duuuwight Tries Alternative Methods Of "Jamming"

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This is not embarrassing.  You are no Shaq.  You never will be Shaq.  You Can't dominate like Shaq once did. But best of all, you Can't rap! (don't even try to tell me Shaq can't rap)  Keep jammin' with 14-year old Nicki Minaj wanna be's Duuuuuwight while you continue to get manhandled in the post by the Celtics KrypTRIonite (Perk, Sheed, Baby). 

Celtics still +7.5....Joke?..."AWWWWWW YEEEEEEAHHHHAAAAAA"!!!!

Bill Simmons Is A Twitter Genius

Bill Simmons, being the sports/life wiz that he is, has decided to take advantage of Celtics tweeters by creating a "Celtics Chants" twitter account.  The objective behind this idea is to get all fans on the same page with obnoxiously catchy chants.  Fans will be able to submit ideas by mentioning @CelticsChants in their tweets, and then the best will be chosen and retweeted by Simmons. With the explosion of twitter on mobile devices, fans will know exactly what to chant at what time.  It's pure genius.  I'm not sure if Simmons is the first to do this, but he damn sure if the right dude to take action, and for that he deserves at least a HJ from every Celtics dancer.  By the looks of it, fans are quickly jumping on board, compiling over 6,000 followers in a matter of days.  Now let's ream out 'Bron 'Bron and sink the Cavs ship yet again. Hey Lebron, how about...#Boo-kies-pissed-off

Follow @CelticsChants Here

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mayor Thomas Menino

BOSTON -- Mayor Tom Menino was at it again today in the middle of honoring Bruins legend Bobby Orr with the statue unveiling of "The Goal" outside TD Garden near the West Entrance.

The mayor said the statue captured an "ionic" moment, and also asserted that Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek was the field-goal kicker who pushed the New England Patriots to their first Super Bowl victory:

"Boston has an amazing set of remarkable athletes whose actions in the moment have become (sic) ionic in sports. Havlicek stole the ball. Fisk waved the ball fair. Flutie launched the Hail Mary pass. Varitek split the uprights. Today we honor one of the most brilliant moments: Bobby Orr flying through the air. Who could forget that play against St. Louis as the Bruins beat the Blues to bring a Stanley Cup to Boston?"

*Audio clip to be added shortly.

Time and time again Boston Mayor, Thomas Menino makes himself look a total clown and time and time again the people living in Massachusetts continue to elect this guy as mayor of a city he knows absolutely nothing about. I flat out don't can't believe this shit. Varitek splits the uprights? Ionic in sports? WTF is he talking about. He is butchering, potentially the most important moments in the history of Boston sports, hell Boston for that matter.

Menino is an absolute babbling bastard who needs to go take some basic English and reading classes, learn how not to mumble then go watch a fucking Red Sox, Patriots, Bruins, and Celtics game before the whole city of Boston loses it.

You know Thomas Menino is kind of like that girlfriend who doesn't know shit about sports and every time she tries to talk about spor-- I mean speak, she makes your ears bleed and your stomach feel like you're going to puke.

What a pathetic piece of shit.

New Nickname for LeBron: Queen James… as in Drama Queen

Is anybody falling for this bullshit about how LeBron’s right elbow hurts? Michael had the flu, Kobe’s got the broken finger, and now LeBron is saying, “Hey, look at me. I’m banged up too.” Does he really need anymore attention? Knock it off with the wincing after every shot, and the lefty free throws. You’re fine. We all know you’re the MVP, give it a rest. As a result of the LeBron media frenzy, now we’ll have to listen to countless sideline updates from Craig Sager and Erin Andrews during the Celtics-Cavs series about how LeBron’s elbow is holding up. In all seriousness, what’s the over/under on the number of sideline reports on LeBron’s elbow during this series: 17? 18? 342?

Here’s a thought. If your elbow is really bothering you, why don’t you quit all the theatrics, the dancing, the flexing, etc? There’s no need to put all that added stress on your tender joints.

Look, nobody is falling for all your crap. We all know you’re going to average 35 points a game against the Celtics. But hey, at least now you have a built in excuse when you lose.

Quit the drama queen act. Just shut up and play ball, Queen James.

Garnett Earns Suspension, Noah Calls Him "Dirty"

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"I'm going to say it: He's a dirty player," Noah said after he and his Chicago teammates practiced at Quicken Loans Arena in preparation for Monday's Game 2 against the Cavaliers. "He's always swinging elbows, man. I'm hurting right now because of an elbow he threw. It's unbelievable. He's a dirty player. It's one thing to be competitive and compete and all that.

"But don't be a dirty player, man. He's a dirty player."

Personally I consider Joakim Noah as the dirtiest player in the NBA.  Large in part due to the fact he looks like a goddamn cracked out Italian Greyhound/Black Poodle mutt.  Aside from being the ugliest piece of shit in the League, he is the biggest pussy, literally.  6' 11" and you're crying about taking a love tap to the chest from KG?  Don't be mad KG is an accomplished vet, and you're struggling to make it out of the first round once again.  Here's an idea, worry about the Cav's and stop worrying about the Celtics(for now at least).  Clearly you're still bitter about last years series, but soon enough Lebron and the Cav's will be drowning your tears with champagne yet again.  Go suck off Q-Rich you pusswhip.  

Celtics forward Kevin Garnett has been suspended for Game 2 of Boston's first-round playoff series against the Heat for landing an elbow to the face of Miami's Quentin Richardson in a fourth-quarter fracas during Saturday's Game 1.

The announcement was made Sunday by Stu Jackson, NBA executive vice president, basketball operations.

Richardson was fined $25,000 for his role in the altercation.

"I have no beef with Q, I know him personally. I thought what he did was a bit disrespectful, standing over a guy hurt, you know, and talking nonsense. Before you knew it, it all just broke out. I gotta use my head, but all I saw was Paul hurt and that's all I cared about at that time."

It's not like anyone wasn't expecting this, but commissioner David Stern confirmed KG's 1-game suspension for game 2 earlier this evening.  Yes, he jocked a bow, but did he really have a choice when he was corned by Q-Rich tha Bitch?   Oh well, it will make a game 2 victory just that much sweeter.  

FUCK YOU Q-RICH

Quentin Richardson is a little bitch. Keep giving your head daps dude, get at me when you win something.

Fucking pussy.

Should we believe in Kevin Garnett and the Celtics?

Cries and whispers about Kevin Garnett

You could hear them if you walked around the city long enough. Concerned whispers. Almost like cries for help.

But Rivers knows the whispers are out there, not only about Garnett but about the rest of the team, too.

Doc puts it this way: "Do [the players] hear it? They have to hear it. As long as they don't believe it. We are old. We are an old basketball team. We're not a very athletic basketball team. But we are a skilled basketball team, a smart basketball team."

When I ask him how the players react to the talk, Rivers' response sums up why anyone should think twice before giving up on this team: "They don't give a shit."

Read the entire article here

Great article by Scoop Jackson on Kevin Garnett. Gave me a little bit more hope for the Celtics heading into the playoffs -- whether or not it's false hope remains to be seen. But hey, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!

Doc Rivers may leave Celtics in off-season

Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers is leaning toward leaving the team after this season, sources told the Boston Herald, but he told the newspaper Tuesday that no final decision had been made about his future.

There had been rumors in seasons past about the 48-year-old Rivers stepping down, and once again it's the tug of his family life -- not another NBA coaching opportunity -- that may pull him away.

Family first. You know at first when I look at this article I said to myself it makes perfect sense for Doc to leave the Celtics after this season. He has three seniors, one in college and two in high school. One of his sons is one of the best high school basketball players and will be starting his college career. He doesn't want to miss this time in his son's life. He needs to be there for his son. To help his son and watch his son achieve success. Then, you know I actually sat down and thought about it for a minute. Family first. That phrase is used all the time in this situation, but what about the Celtic family?

Back when the Celtics signed Doc to a contract to coach the team I thought it was a horrible decision. I did not think Doc was the right man for a job. He was fired from the Orlando Magic for his inability to create a winner. There was no denying Doc could coach the young guys and develop them, but he was not a proven winner. Secondly he was not a Celtic. Doc was an Atlanta Hawk, he had been through the battles through out the 80s against the Celtics and should have hated them. Why would a Hawk be a good fit for the Celtics? There was so many ex-Celtics out there dying for a job, why didn't Danny give one of them a shot. Instead, he chose an Atlanta Hawk to bring back the Celtic pride? Give me a fucking break, right?

Then Doc went on to lead the Celtics to a championship with the aid of Danny Ainge trading for Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. There was some Doc supporters who said Doc deserved praise for taking a bunch of players who had never played together and turn them into a championship winning team. There was also a flip side who said the team didn't even need a coach. They were so talented they were going to win the championship no matter what. Especially since Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Paul Pierce wanted it so badly.

I was on neither side. I was 50/50. I thought Doc did what he always did. Didn't lose a game for the Celtics that year, but most certainly didn't win a game. He does a solid job year in and year out. You get exactly what you want from Doc. Exactly what the team should do.

So it this brings me back to my original point. Family first. Doc River is choosing his family first. The Rivers family. That's why Danny should have hired a Celtic. If he had done that, family would never be a reason because the coach's family would have been the Celtics. Just before the ship sinks and the Celtics become even older than they look today, Rivers is going to bolt and claim he needs to be there for his kids.

And that my friends proves, Celtic tradition was not brought back with Banner 17. There is no Celtic Pride anymore. The team has shown that this season and now the coach will show it this off-season.

So Danny, do what is right for the Celtics and not for Doc. Don't let Doc sit around all off-season and try to decide. We don't need a Brett Favre saga here. When you get bumped out of the first or second round, tell Doc to go be with his kids like he wants to be. Get someone in here that will restore Celtic Pride. Someone that will infuse energy into the big 3. Someone that will tell Rasheed Wallace to stop shooting threes and get down low. Someone who will call out Kendrick Perkins. Get someone in here with a vision. Someone who can win games when we least expect. Someone who will restore Celtic Pride.

Daily Dumbass: Raaaaa-Sheed Wallace

"Ball don't lie, huh Sheed?"

Starbury Serving Up A Pu Pu Platter Of Plays

 

'Starbury' lights up China's All Star game

BEIJING -- Former NBA player Stephon Marbury justified his status as the highest profile import in the Chinese Basketball Association (CBA) with an MVP performance at the league's All Star weekend.

The former Minnesota, New Jersey, Phoenix, New York Knicks and Boston point guard, twice an NBA All Star, scored 30 points at Beijing's Wukesong Arena to lift his North team to a 133-121 victory over the South on Sunday.

More than just his scoring, it was his array of “no-look passes, alley-hoops and mid-court three-pointers” that won Marbury Most Valuable Player honours and rescued what had been “quite a dull game”, according to the Xinhua news agency.

Is Steph still trying to prove something?  I mean he's throwing up three's from Mongolia and continuously knocking them down.  He's got to be on drugs still right?  Check out his UStream if you don't believe me.  Shit I know he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but if he's shooting like this, (even if it is over a league full of Earl Boykins') maybe some teams should be considering him for a playoff run.

Ugly, But Nevertheless A Win

"Make It rain, hall of fame, drive the lane, he got game, tell em Jesus Shuttlesworth is the name"

Scoop It Here!

Buster Olney Makes One of the Worst Comparisons Ever

This morning on SportsCenter, Buster Olney did a little preview of the Yankees-Phillies spring training World Series rematch. (I’m sure everyone was getting geared up to watch that one, right?) Usually, Buster is pretty solid, but today he had his head a little too far up his ass. Olney stated that the Yankees-Phillies rivalry is developing into a rivalry like the one between the Celtics and Lakers in the 1980s. What?!? I was completely baffled. I was unaware the Yankees and Phillies even had a rivalry.

This completely asinine comparison led me to do a little research, from which I drew the conclusion that, yes, Buster Olney is a complete idiot. In the history of baseball, there have been 105 World Series. The Yankees have played in 40 of them, and won 27. The Phillies have played in 7 and won 2. Therefore, the Yankees and Phillies have combined for 28% of all the championships in Major League Baseball (with the Yankees obviously pulling all of the weight). They have only met in the World Series TWICE! Last year, and in 1950. Generally, in rivalries, you have to play each other every once in awhile.

On the other hand, there have been 63 NBA Finals. The Celtics have played in 20 Finals, and won 17 championships. The Lakers have played in 30 Finals, and won 15. Add those numbers up, and the Celtics and Lakers have combined for over 50% of all the championships in NBA history. They have met each other in the Finals 11 times. And during the 1980s, the Celtics and/or Lakers played in every single NBA Finals. Not to mention, the Celtics and Lakers had the great personal rivalry of Bird and Magic. There is nothing even remotely close to compare that to with the Yankees and Phillies. Olney might say Ryan Howard and Alex Rodriguez, but they never go head to head on the field like Bird and Magic did on the court.

There is not one thing about Yankees-Phillies that makes it a rivalry. They’ve only met in the World Series twice, and the championship totals are completely one-sided for the Yankees. Just because the Raiders and Buccaneers met in the Super Bowl one year doesn’t mean they have a rivalry. Rivalries develop and grow over time. You can’t just meet one time in a 60 year period and call it Celtics-Lakers. It just doesn’t work that way. This is just another example of a sports media member overeating to something they think they see.

Wake up, Buster. There’s got to be something else you can talk about rather than making a comparison that is just not there. Stick to baseball. Leave the other sports out of it. It’s not in your job description, nor in your skill set.

Baby Rajon Burnin' Cats Early...

I hate to jinx their game, but the Celtics, Rondo in particular, have started on absolute fiaaaaaarrrrrr!!!  Let's GOOOOOOOO!!  And Scal's spray tan is yet to be seen...man this night keeps getting better and better!

Brian ScalaSprayMe...Check

As promised, Scal follows through and is no longer the whitest irishmen in the NBA.  Pictures courtesy of 98.5, The Sports Hub, "Get that man a tan"!  Make sure to tune in to TNT Thursday evening for the Celtics/Cavaliers game to see the bronzed bimbo live.