3 Things that Baffled Me (5/4)

3 Things that blew my mind from the past week:

Red Sox– Pitching and defense. These were supposed to be the keys to the Red Sox season. Well, one month into the season, the Sox are ranked 12th (of 14) in the American League in pitching, and 13th in defense. So much for that plan. Not to mention two-thirds of the starting outfield is hurt, and David Ortiz is hitting .159 with a strike out every 2.7 at-bats. Oh yea, the starting catcher Victor Martinez is hitting .233 with 1 HR and 7 RBI, while his back up (Jason Varitek) is hitting .324 with 5 HR and 9 RBI in half as many games. To top it all off, the Sox just got swept by the worst team in the league (Baltimore), and are now already 7 games out of first place. Time to shake things up. I’m not sure what, but something’s gotta change. Hopefully the Bruins and Celtics keep winning, because if the only thing I have to watch are these pitiful Red Sox, I’m gonna lose it.

Boston Water Crisis – "Now if a Muslim woman strapped with a bomb on a bus with the seconds running give you the jitters, Just imagine an American-based Christian organization planning to poison water supplies to bring the second-coming quicker. "
- Lupe

Naaaaah. Not this time. Just a water main break. I’ll tell you what gives me the jitters though: a car bomb in Times Square. Yikes.

This KFC commercial –

Breast cancer is a very serious disease, and I applaud KFC for doing its part in raising money for a cure. But 50 cents for every huge ass bucket of that greasy chicken? Sure they might raise enough to make a significant contribution to breast cancer research, but at what cost? They’ll be contributing to the increasing obesity of America, not to mention more than a few heart attacks and clogged arteries. Seems kinda like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. KFC’s message: Fuck cancer, have a heart attack instead.

Jay-Z sues David Ortiz over club name

NEW YORK -- Jay-Z and a business partner are suing slugger David Ortiz, claiming the Boston Red Sox star named his Dominican nightclub after the mogul's chain of 40/40 clubs. The lawsuit, filed Thursday in Manhattan Federal Court, accuses Ortiz of calling his Santo Domingo club Forty-Forty in the hopes of trading on the rap star's fame.

The suit seeks over $5 million in damages and for Ortiz to forfeit any use of the 40/40 name. Jay-Z's string of bars can be found in Manhattan, Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

"David Ortiz is fully aware of Plaintiff's Manhattan 40/40 club, since he had been a patron there on several occasions before he opened his Infringing Forty/Forty club," the lawsuit states.

Simple explanation here: Jay-Z is a diehard Yankees fan. He sees that David Ortiz has been struggling (both at the plate and with the media), and now he is kicking Big Papi while he’s down. Fucking ass hole. Like David Ortiz really needs this on his plate, he’s already got the pressure and the watchful eye of the entire city of Boston on him. Jay-Z doesn’t need $5 million. The man’s already got plenty of cash, not to mention he’s banging Beyonce. This has to be solely about fucking with the Red Sox, right? Either that or Jay is just bored.

We all know Jay-Z is the cockiest son-of-a-bitch around. (Shit, I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can). But I think he is overvaluing his own significance in this situation. I guarantee David Ortiz is a bigger name in the Dominican Republic than Jay-Z. Big Papi is a hero to those people. He doesn’t need to use Jay-Z’s fame and/or name to get people to go to his club. So I’m going to go under the assumption that this whole naming thing is just a coincidence.

Regardless of what happens with this lawsuit: Fuck you, Jay-Z.

David Ortiz supplies you with the Stat of the Week

As you all know David Ortiz will not be in the line up today against the Minnesota Twins. This statistically, specifically must of caught Terry Francona's eye:

44% of the time David Ortiz swings at a pitch he misses. The league average is 20%.

Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe is the biggest idiot

2:22 p.m.: End of the 4th, Sox 10, NU 0 

"The Sox just scored six runs in the bottom of the fourth inning. They had six hits including that homer by Ortiz. And to think people said they were going to have trouble offensively.

This is an actual blog entry by Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe. Are you fucking kidding me? This guy is an actual journalist. and says shit like that? Not some blogger like me. He makes big money to write. Again, unlike me."...and sadly, I think I have more common sense then him.

Did he really just try to say the Red Sox won't have trouble scoring runs this year because they scored SIX runs against a fucking college team in one inning!?!?! It's fucking Northeastern for fuck sake to top it off. They should of scored 6 runs every god damn inning.

No wonder why everyone outside of New England hates Boston fans. People like Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe give us a bad wrap. 

PS- Here's the link, bottom of the fourth inning. Time 2:22 that way you can see it with your own eyes.