NY Bribing 'Bron 'Bron With Boobies & Beef

TMZ: May 11, 2010: 

 "LeBron James just got the sweetest offer in the history of mankind to move from Cleveland to the New York Knicks -- a lifetime of free stripper action.

The Cleveland Cavaliers star -- who will become a free agent after this season -- is getting million-dollar offers from several franchises to make the switch to their team ... but if LeBron inks a deal with the Knicks, New York's premiere strip club Scores says it'll give the basketball star: 

- A free lifetime of lap dances

- A "LeBron James Day" when all the strippers will wear his jersey

- And free food for life at the strip club's very own steakhouse

Good luck competing with that Utah!  

Well Lebron, you've got quite the offer served fresh on a NY platter.  I mean how can you beat free lap dances, steaks, and honey dips wearing your jersey on a designated Lebron James day?  At some point you have to cut your losses and realize that life's necessities don't include a ring. Food, a city wide day in tribute to you, and strippers are a token of survival.  Sure you may not have the ice to flash while some dip is grinding on your junk, but at least you'll have a nice cut of beef at all times, right?

Daily Drunk: Jack Bauer

Kiefer Sutherland finds himself half naked in a strip club in London

Via Examiner.com: "There are drunks, and then there's Kiefer Sutherland. He's a veritable expert at intoxicated tomfoolery. Yesterday, he was spotted stumbling around London's Covent Garden Hotel, shirtless and wasted, after being escorted out of Stringfellow's Gentlemen's Club, where his apparently non-genteel behavior and inability to handle his booze earned him a headlock from a bouncer. Hey, when Kiefer gets thrown out, he goes all the way!

Apparently, the paparazzi stalkarazzing him around London report that he was already a hot drunken mess at 2 a.m, when a friend picked him up to hit up the strip club. At some point during the night, Kiefer grew tired of British boobs and decided to show off his own, removing his shirt. The other patrons of the establishment and the owner didn't find this nearly as amusing as Kiefer 'check it out, dude, I took my pants off' Sutherland, so they asked him to put those moobs away like the decent fellow he was. He laughed, and so his evening there was cut short. The headlock, the owner says, is merely a trick of photography, because his departure was an amicable decision made between Sutherland's friend and the club."

Leave it up to Jack Bauer to be crowned the Daily Drunk here at F2DD.  Look, I stopped watching the show because it just got so ridiculous and predictable it wasn't worth the time of day.  Truth is, if Jack Bauer played Kiefer Sunderland's real life character the show would be a lot more entertaining.  Nothing like blacking out and challenging British strippers at their own club.  Jack once quoted this during an early episode of 24...Read it with an open mind and just imagine what he means by "towel" once he's sloshed up off a few brewski's at a strip club...

“You probably don’t think I could force this towel down your throat, but trust me I can. All the way. Except that I’d hold onto this little bit at the end. When your stomach starts to digest the towel, I pull it out. Taking your stomach lining with it. Most people probably take about a week to die. It’s very painful.”